As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
