grandma shit on top of the toilet
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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