whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
