Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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