my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
