Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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