I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
