So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
