im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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