Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
