Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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