I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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