Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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