I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
