fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize