I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize