is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you made out with another girl for some wings
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Congratulations! We have a period
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