That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
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I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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