I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
