I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
