My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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