He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
