my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
