I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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