I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize