So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
third nipple confirmed
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
