Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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