yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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