I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
