Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
