we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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