She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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