she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
