I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the day after is always just damage control
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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