i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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