Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
