You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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