My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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