i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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