i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
