trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
