Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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