so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
