Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We are all done wearing pants today
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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