Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
