Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
