so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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