Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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