My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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