her vagine was all disorganized.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
