i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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