i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
