ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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