The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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