mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
