I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
