Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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