I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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