I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
