so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
