We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
