dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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