Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
