dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
