you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
