we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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