if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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